I have been seeking the light shining through since the Spring. Any chance I get I have been taking pics much like this where the sun is peeking through the clouds. Maybe it’s because life has felt stormy for a good many months. The story I have told myself is that life has felt uncertain. But as I was about to share this with you a thought came to mind “Um Steph is life EVER certain?” Ahhhh NO. I like to play with tarot. I love to get readings. I love listening to astrology reports. Yet despite all the collective wisdom life still happens. The specifics of the story line that will unfold moving forward is not of our knowledge. We may get glimmers or it or have ideas about how we want it to go but ultimately we are clueless. We are left to follow our gut, our heart or follow the thing that most of the time gets us into trouble (yes that’s your mind.) We most often get stuck in our thoughts about the fantasy that we want to have happen instead of following the messages that our heart is sending us.
In our last chat Walk on….You Will Never Walk Alone I shared with you the story of my process walking through fear. I was very much IN my fear when we were chatting that day. It comes and goes like motion sickness. I LOVE traveling but the actual travel piece I don’t love so much. Traveling lately through daily life has felt much the same. But recently something shifted in me. Literally almost overnight I have begun to have the F its. Not in the typical way one would think though. It’s been more like….
F THIS FEAR SHIT
WHAT DID I JUST SAY?
SERIOUSLY F THE FEAR SHIT!!!! (pardon my language dear)
MY INNER VOICE TALKS AGAIN TO ME, SAYING….
WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN???
You and I both may have a laundry list of things that we could put under such a heading. But like a fellow entrepreneur said to me Thursday night….”what’s the worst thing that could happen? Homelessness? That is so not going to happen. If you are a go getter you will make it happen. It will just happen.” My heart pounded during that conversation. Excitement and adrenaline pumping through my body; tingling with the sensation of opportunity. Until my mind goes “well maybe not homelessness but asking someone for a couch.” Again that is probably never going to happen and if it did? SO WHAT? Are you catching my drift? So I ask you…
What is the thing that you are MOST afraid of right now?
Do you lay awake at night, like me, and wonder if it will happen? Do you walk around with the fear from that story line pulsating through your body? Do you sometimes (or a lot of the times as it can be) go to tears when you think of that thing that you are most afraid of? Well guess what?
We both need to get over ourselves
Yes, we do. We are not in a Hollywood film. This is real life. There are actually people in the world suffering in the way your worst fear is telling you that you will. And guess what? They are surviving and moving through it all. Whether you are psychic or not, you will not be able to figure this one out fully. Honestly it has been this kind of dope slap that I feel like has begun to help me move out of my stuckness enough to see the beauty all around me. My mind is caught up in this scenario worrying about an unknown future meanwhile seriously AMAZING experiences are happening to me in the present moment. In my Soba Yoga, yoga for recovery class last night I had some seriously heart felt interactions with students. Memories that will forever be in my heart. Today I taught another yoga class in a luxury apartment building where I got to hang with these really cool people who, for the most part, had never done yoga before. And I got to teach and inspire them. How cool is that????
What is the evidence that you are waiting for that your life is already amazing?
That is the question I ask myself. I don’t have to worry about whether good stuff is on it’s way because it’s already here.
How do you find the light within?
I have found it by being present in each moment. Taking care to notice each moment that feels special. There are so many moments that are seriously amazing but we are unaware of their enormity because we are caught up in our fearful thoughts. Our belief system becomes focused on scarcity so that becomes all we see. My head is all about what I am afraid will either happen or not happen. Meanwhile guess what? It’s already happening. There is this saying that is so overused but so important to remember…
Life is not a dress rehearsal
You must live BIG if you want big things to happen to you. That means that sometimes you hear your thoughts and you say to them “Listen I am going to give you a blanket and a cup of tea Then I am going to leave you home because I need to go out and make some shit happen.” Done. Over. Finite as they say.
Lately I am just treating my fears in this very compassionate and loving way. I am working towards not getting mad at them for being there. They have had good reason to be there in the past. But now…they are just truly holding me back from noticing how truly amazing life is and can be. They only tend to get louder when I yell at them or get mad at them. Instead they tend to become more of a whisper when I treat them with the love and caring that they are most needing.
Life has been getting more exciting as the days go by. The fearful news I was afraid to hear last week…is coming this week And guess what? I am really not afraid of it anymore. What will be will be? Who knows but I know one thing….I am soooooo ready to move forward. Life is too short to stay stuck. You just have to take the next step and see where it takes you. Life is not certain but happiness is. If you allow yourself to be present for each and every moment as it arises, you may find yourself stumbling upon the happiness you were hoping to find down the road.
How do you find the light within? For me it has been by being willing to accept that it is already there just waiting for you to notice.
Being the light that is how you find it! So go out there and emanate the light within!
Looking for some support along the way towards wellness? Come meet with me in my office in Watertown, Ma for a consultation. Contact me