This post is dedicated to my friend Fran who sadly passed away early this year.   Turtles were her favorite animal as they often used as a metaphor for patience.  The above picture is of a magnet that was given away at her services. And in this is a story….

Fran was in recovery from addiction for twenty nine years when she passed.  One of her favorite sayings to everyone was

SLOW AND STEADY

WINS THE RACE

Fran and I met working in an outpatient addictions clinic together; Fran the nurse, me the social worker.  Our quick wit, sarcasm, and similar outlook on life made us instantly tight partners in crime in the clinic.  She, like myself, would often have a bit of a tough exterior but both of us were filled with marshmallow on the inside.  Fran had been through a lot in her years and I always felt a level of awe of her level of resilience.  Maybe that is because my own level of resilience is something I often take for granted…

This week, I decided to get to some Fall cleaning which took me to vacuuming out my very sandy car.  In there I found the turtle.

SLOW AND STEADY

WINS THE RACE

STEPH

echoed in my head.  Fran used to say to me “you are like a whirling dervish.  You whirl and whirl and God , he laughs and laughs.”  What she was speaking to is my propensity towards being an anxious Type A person who is constantly in motion while not recognizing that there is a whole spiritual process occurring around me.

As I was cleaning, I stopped to think about these statements.  When you are constantly in motion it is hard to stay grounded which in essence is what is needed in order to remain calm through life’s turbulence.  Slow and steady wins the race means that small movements forward, whatever the movement is, helps us move forward more than being on a treadmill or having our feet stuck in mud.

Life has felt much like the dervish around me with the turbulence feeling intense.  Things in various parts of my life change on the spur of the moment.  But if you can be the turtle…if you can believe that

SLOW AND STEADY

WINS THE RACE

then everything feels manageable.  Keeping goals small and manageable is so key these days.  Today my goal was to get out to a cafe and have a tea time chat with you.  DONE!  Previous to making that decision my head was taking into account all the things that I have yet to do and how awful I am for not focusing on these things.  These thoughts swirled around and around until  I remembered Fran and the turtle again….ah yes….

SLOW AND STEADY

STEPH

It’s my own medicine that I can sometimes struggle taking.  So slowed down for a breath and thought

JUST ONE STEP

THAT’S ALL YOU NEED TO DO

So I printed out material I wanted to take with me and I got myself out into the sun to  Trident BooksellersCafe where creativity is at home inside me.  And here we are…chatting, drinking tea and um having some sweet potatoe fries! They are so tasty right?  Sooooo good and soooo bad….the best!

What stellar bit of info can I pass on to you?  Well just that what I keep relearning over and over again is that the level of perfectionism that I have struggled with stifles my creativity and causes me to live in fear of failure which turned inside out is actually a fear of success.  While I am stuck in my fear, I am not present in the moment and I am not taking the chances that make life worth living.  So it is with lead feet lately that I keep taking steps forward. Sound familiar?  If so, maybe we can lift our concrete feet together and head down the yellow brick road.

Life is meant to be lived.  Staying in fear of the crash and burn wears us out.  Meanwhile there are ideas that had once lived in us that are dying.  Those ideas are meant to be breathed into existence.  One thing is for damn sure….if you don’t do it…someone else will.

Fran I miss you more than you can imagine.  Thinking of you makes me instantly cry.  And yet I know you, my very good friend, would be seriously giving me a talking to telling me to get up and get moving.  Fran was a big proponent of the message of our last chat You Are Stronger Than You Think  She would remind me right now of my own strength and get frustrated with my stalling.  Move forward.  Blaze a trail.  And whatever you do, do it with love because

SLOW AND STEADY

ALWAYS WINS THE RACE!

Cheers to moving forward.  With each and every step we take forward we are always moving in the right direction:)

 

P.S.  After our chat, on my walk back to the T, I saw this on the sidewalk

Fran was with us all along today. I love you more than you knew.  Cheers lady!

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