As August hits it’s mid range point, everyone in New England ramps up for the beginning of the school year. Some are out back to school shopping. Where others, like myself, are sopping up every last possible wave in the sea like it were my last. These moments have been bittersweet as they, like other moments, are fleeting. They also come with a certain sweetness that only moments in the summer could be. As the summer is winding down, I am oddly, finding myself more still than I have been all summer. Curious? Yes. There are a few reasons why this has been and the stillness has given me time to become more reflective.
Being still has never come with ease for me. I believe that probably dates back to childhood. I was always busy doing something; even it it was just playing. I had a very active imaginative mind. While I am just now seeing the artist within myself, I have always been a creative soul. My internal world was always technicolor with big beautiful colors and textures. Over time this became my jail as the mind of an adult goes crazy in a way that a child can’t even imagine. Over time my mind became a bit of a personal jail cell that only I could release myself from. This summer I have often been locked down so to speak and struggling with finding that key. It was always there, much like your house/car keys that are on the window sill where you left them during a mindless moment. At times I strggled to find my breath much like those keys because I was over occupied in my mind.
With each moment of stillness that comes, I find myself gasping for air thinking that there are things that need to get done. There is organization that needs to happen. Why oh Why am I sitting here breathing in the air of this moment when I have obligations that need to be taken care of? Then I so graciously turn back to my breath and realize that yes they do and yes they will get done…in time. For anxious people who are also doers in life, doing nothing is, at times, extremely painful. Yet when I sink into that state of being, it is the most blissful place I have ever found. That place where I am enough. Where what ever needs doing is not on tap for the moment. Where the sky is not falling. Where I am always ok right here, right now. That is the moment that I both yearn for and fear. As crazy as that sounds, that duality does exist.
In the space of nothing it is just me, my breath and those around me. When I can “sink in” so to speak, it’s like the moment goes on for an eternity. I feel like that new born whose is smiling while being held by its mother. That is the space that I am in when I allow myself to be still in the moment. When I allow the moment to be perfect just as it is.
So in these last days of summer, I encourage you to take in each ray of sunlight. To play in the water like you were 5 again. To enjoy your friends and dig your feet into the sand. “Back to school” happens in September which really gets underway in October. You have time…so go ahead…play!
Cheers to finding the sweet moments of stillness!
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