Doors and Windows


It has been nothing but doors and windows these days.  It’s the tail end of summer moving into Fall.  Soon gorgeous flowers like this one will be no where to be seen.  The weather in Boston is doing it’s manic depressive dance back and forth between muggy, hot and cool, crisp.  Students are moving back in swarms and renters are switching homes taking up every UHaul available for miles.  It is the season for change and change it has been for sure.  Not too much for me is staying the same which is exciting, invigorating and at times jarring and scary.  Doors are closing all over the places almost as sudden as windows are opening.  Some of the closings have been sudden and odd; kind of like when you are relaxing at home and the wind takes a door and slams it shut.  Other closings have been more systematic and a natural progression of other windows that have brought fresh air in.  Now you can see why things are feeling a bit bipolar, huh?  It’s almost like the Wheel of Fortune card in the tarot deck is coming up constantly for me.  It is a time for me when almost anything could occur.  Processing this can feel a bit maddening at times but then I remind myself  that if I ride the breeze like a magic carpet ride it will feel far more exciting than if I take the changes like a roller coaster (they have always made me ill.)  At times it really has felt quite like a magic carpet ride with twists and turns taking me on an ever unfolding path.  There have been times when the endings and beginnings are happening at the exact moment which seems oddly like I am in a Hollywood movie.  Kind of like the movie Sliding Doors although I am a much shorter, some version of auburn haired (depending on the magic of my stylist,) fairly outspoken Gweneth Paltrow.

Back to change.  The other day while at one of my cafe jams I picked up a book of quotes by Jack Kornfield.  In it I came across this quote “In life we cannot avoid change, we can’t avoid loss.  Freedom and happiness are found in the flexibility and ease with which we move through change.” Oh hell ya.  One can only be happy if they allow themselves to move more freely through life’s ups and downs. Oh boy, we are ALL are in BIG trouble! But seriously, it means that if we work towards releasing the struggle that we have been creating within, we can begin to feel more happiness rise to the surface.  Oooo I like that because it means I can have some sense of control over the outcome!  Who doesn’t like a little control here and there?  If we can allow the process of change to be more like a carpet ride than we soon find that there are pleasant surprises all around; even in the times when the endings leave behind uncomfortable feelings.  Underneath discomfort is a wealth of inner peace and joy.  If we can allow ourselves to accept the changes that occur, no matter whether we like them or not, we find that over time life becomes less of a struggle.  We find that we suffer less because we are no longer putting so much effort into resisting what is happening in the present moment.  We don’t have to agree, we don’t have to like it but if we can accept it  we often find that things are happening to allow for growth and freedom.  Over time, albeit quite unperfectly, I have begun to accept and even invite change into my life.  Even in times when the change is sudden and not comfortable, I know that if I can just be still some beginning will be around the corner.
These days, just like the students starting their new semesters, I too begin a whole new adventure this week.  I look forward to the different people I will have the opportunity to meet and work with.  But in starting anything new, there is the old that takes time to fade into the past.  Just like most, the tenancies of my mind are to grip onto thoughts of the past like I am in the middle of a storm and letting go means disaster.  While intellectually it is clear this doesn’t serve me well, my mind has well a mind of it’s own.  For today, how will you let go of the past to allow for more ease and freedom in the present moment?  For me what helps is literally feeling my feet on the earth, engaging in interesting conversations about my new beginnings with new people, breathing in the last bits of summer while it lasts and knowing that all will be well.  This has also allowed for less of the mental gymnastics (exhausting) and more of really enjoyable spontaneous moments.  Things occur in the Universe as an opportunity for continued unfolding.  It is only when we resist the unfolding that we become stuck.  We can do this in many ways.  For today, how might you allow yourself to become unstuck long enough to take in all that the present moment has to offer?
I leave you with this song from David Gray that sums up how I have been feeling at this time


  1. Shelley Ugyan on September 4, 2014 at 1:55 am

    Love the metaphor of "doors and windows"- as one closes, certainly one is always opening around the corner…easy to fall into fear here, and I find yoga and bodywork to really help…as well as CBT exercises when the negative thinking creeps in 🙂 Thanks for this 🙂

    • admin on September 5, 2014 at 10:00 pm

      Yes it can be so easy to fall down the rabbit hole and I too find that different things are helpful at different times. CBT helps with the thinking and body based treatments help move the energy out and allow for release. Sometimes, like last night for instance, nothing helps more than getting on my mat in a class with a teacher that I trust and adore. I get to leave feeling like a weight was lifted from my body and taken away with the wind! Have a wonderful weekend:) Cheers!

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