This is my new fav song. I love John Legend: always have. The words of this song are so simple and beautiful yet run so deep. While on the surface it seems to be about creating a loving union with another person, for me it means something much more. The whole idea of soulmates, there being just one person out there for everyone, doesn’t quite sit well with me because it feels far to myopic. Love comes in so many forms and so to do soul mates. I chose this song to play in a playlist for my yoga classes over Valentine’s Day weekend. As it came on and my students were in their restorative poses, I found tears coming to my eyes. The kind of soul love that Legend sings about in this song is the kind of love that was bursting out of my heart and spilling outward into the room. This week I have listened to the song a few times on my IPhone on my way to work and the same tears came up and out each time. Why would I be crying you might wonder. Well as best I can understand it, I feel like I am at a point in my life where what my soul has been yearning for is starting to come into fruition. Recently, I shared with someone that I am at the point in my life where I am ready to go where the waters flow so to speak. I have done challenge, struggle, hard times and I believe that my soul is tired of it all. I am ready to move more freely, easily and flow much like the poses do that I teach in my yoga classes. One moves into the next as they begin to create a dance that when done mindfully becomes effortless over time. The body flows and moves; opens and shares. The heart beats, as it tells a story. The story of the heart is one that is often lost in the busyness of life. I know this very well. I lost my way quite a long time ago and I continue to find my way back over and over again lately. This brings us to a question….how do you even know you are lost? We walk through live doing the same thing over and over especially as we get older. Our patterns become very ingrained so much that it’s hard to imagine a life differently. What we do is often all that we know so how do you even know that you are off track and not living from the heart?
Well for me, I got hit over the head with it about six years ago. I was so miserable in many areas of my life and also very physically sick. The path leading back to my soul’s yearning has been more of a meandering one. One thing lead to another while doors and windows began to open to bring in a breath of fresh air. When I look back at photos of myself from previous to the past six years, I see what I couldn’t see back then. Typically when this occur, I pause and send the girl in the picture some love. She didn’t know what she didn’t know. She had no idea how good she could feel in the future if things changed; and change they did. These days, I know when I am off track when I find myself irritable, discontent, complaining a lot and generally not well. This has come up more recently and what do you know…I went to a workshop on herbalism (my next new adventure in training) and ahhhh a window opened and some fresh air came in. Over the years, I have had enough of these instances that I know what feels right and what doesn’t. There are certain situations that I am currently still in that deflate the air in the room making me feel like I need my blankie, some hot cocoa and a laugh with a good friend. I call these situations and people energy vampires. They feel like they suck the life out of me and then leave me feeling like I need to get the heck out of there or take a shower. There are other circumstances, such as teaching yoga, that make me feel light and airy. Someone who had seen me in both of these similar circumstances reflected to me once that it is amazing how different I am when I teach yoga. My true personality comes out and I feel like I can let down whatever defenses I need in the other situation. My soul is yearning for more of the fresh air; literally as well as figuratively While there are situations that are still in place for particular reasons, they are surely on their way of fading out. They no longer fit. They are kind of like those old clothes that no only no longer fit well but they also just feel outdated. My soul is ready to be free. My heart is ready to love and be loved. I no longer feel the need to prove myself worthy not do I feel like I want to struggle and be challenged in a way that depletes my energy. That is over because I have found a new path. The path of love and inner peace.
What people, places and things make you feel that you are on the path leading to your heart? What people, places and things are energy vampires leaving you feeling like you need a blankie or a shower to get the ick off? How can you begin to choose the former and let go of the latter? Over the next week, what can you do to begin to notice what feeds your soul and choose that rather than choosing to be dragged down into the ick depths of the vampires? For today, I am preparing my next yoga workshop and my yoga class for tonight knowing that the love I feel from my students always gives me the energy I need to continue along the path of my heart.