Yes, sugar is toxic.  Those of us who have been sugar addicted I don’t think were ever doing anything healthy by indulging.   In 2011 The New York Times put out an article “Is Sugar Toxic?” http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/magazine/mag-17Sugar-t.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0 : which detailed all the ways in which yes people, it is.  I know this comes as a shock with a lot of “say it isn’t so’s” but this is the truth.  The thing that actually, all sarcasm aside, has been a shock to people is the continuous information coming out about how sugar substitutes are yes, also toxic.  In fact they far more toxic than good old sugar.  The chemical substitutes that people thought were a much better option have been found to contribute to obesity, heart issues, caner (what doesn’t you say, I know but listen.)  The research is there for those who don’t believe the non MDs so it’s getting harder to fight the good fight in support of them..

But we knew this before we knew it, right?  Well maybe.  We have been acting like muffins,donuts,pastries and bagels are a good breakfast for quite some time so maybe not.  In the day in age when the research is out and loud we still have boutique cupcake and donut shops opening up everywhere and thriving. Hmmm Interesting.  We here is the sad story of a person who once dreamed of owning such a shop.  If you don’t already know of this talent of mine let me get you in on the secret.  It’s that I am a semi retired baker.  I am extremely good as you can see above.  It’s a gift of sorts. I come from a very long line of good bakers.  Baking is one way in which I was nurtured and it was a way in which I nurtured others and myself, well sort of.  I LOVE to bake and that love is probably the hidden ingredient for sure.  Before I got on the whole wellness bandwagon, I thought my next career was going to be a pastry chef.  I met a woman one summer who made cakes for a living and I thought “I want to be you.”  Well not literally like Single White Female but you get the picture. It never happened.  Just a passing fantasy because I got into acupuncture and the fantasy went bust as my wellness path began.

Once I started to pull back the layers, I couldn’t go back.  See sugar was a way in which I managed my life. If things were going well, I ate sugar.  If things were going poorly, I ate sugar.  I baked for celebrations, I baked for depressions.  Like any good addict, I didn’t really need a reason to bake, I just would.  I was the perfect roommate to have back in the day because there would always be something sweet around.  My coworkers at the time would joke about seeing the tin foil coming through the door knowing that something amazing was within that shiny package.  Everyone was happy, except for me.  I mean I wasn’t miserable to the average person, but on the other hand I was.  I was sick to my stomach, literally, most of the time.  The sugar was causing inflammation, not the red swollen kind, but the silent kind that is far more dangerous. Silent inflammation is a complex and fascinating thing to learn about.  I will post more in the future about it but for now check this YouTube video out with Dr. Barry Sears.  Ihttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUGP0eGWOG0&sns=em.  I was very ill most of the time but didn’t know why.  Never did I once think “uh may it’s the sugar.”   Never until I was ready to get honest with myself.   My gut was inflamed all the time for years but I didn’t think too much about about it until things became uncomfortable enough for me to make a change.  Again, like most addicts, I was functioning on a level that was sub par to where I am now but I was functioning.  If you are thinking…”ooo that sounds bad” well most likely that is you as well on some level, That is unless you are totally off sugar, wheat, soy, corn, dairy, gluten, caffeine, alcohol, etc.

I am not totally off of sugar.  I do eat dark chocolate but a small amount.  For the most part, with a rare exception, I am off of baked goods.  I bake rarely, often gluten free, which was another change that came into my life around the same time. I learned to get real about what the relationship with sugar was about.  It is complex, as most relationships but what I know thus far is that on some level baked goods are nurturing, right?  Isn’t that why we all consume them.  They are especially delicious when you or someone you love has baked them with love and care.  I get that on a very deep level. I just have awareness now which makes the whole process different.  I know that for me sugar is emotional as it is for most.  When I indulge in it, it feeds off each other and I want more because it’s addicting.  As long as I don’t turn the faucet fully on, I don’t crave it.  I am not fully off of it but it’s been a progressive lifestyle change over the past five years. It’s a process that continues to unfold. I think about getting totally off for good but some ambivalence remains.  I miss those “good old days” on the one hand, but would never want to feel like that again on the other. Addicts will tell you that they would use if they could not feel the negative consequences.  I get that. But the way I feel now is sooooo much better and so there is no looking back for long.

I may not be exactly where I want to be but like the old saying goes “you’ve come a long way baby!”  And so you can you.

Cheers!