So it’s the Fourth of July. The day in which we celebrate America’s Independence and the creation of our country. I am sitting here, having my morning tea looking all the Happy Fourth! postings on Facebook thinking, this is where it all began. This is where all the pressure began, the misunderstanding, the misinterpretation of what is healthy and esteemed. The foundation of our country began on creating independence and being our own sovereign state. We said a big F U we don’t need you, we don’t need anyone, we can do this on our own. And yet that is exactly the messed up, dysfunctional message that Americans have taken to be true. In my mind, this may be at the basis of what has gotten us to the place where we are so disconnected, unhappy and self involved. Not to be a wicked Debby Downer or anything, but it feels like this is a poignant day for many reasons. If you are at all interested in astrology then you know that it has been said that December 21, 2012 was the beginning of the end and the beginning of a new beginning for the Universe. Most people I know have been going through incredible internal shifts which have not comfortable or familiar. The foundation that was created back in history is beginning to be rocked and ultimately broken to create space for a new paradigm. A new way of being that is more focused on interdependence, community, connection and ultimately, love. Yes, I said an existence built upon love. This is not some hippy kind of idea, although astrology is often dismissed as being something new agey and therefore not to be valued. It may sound strange that Americans could be more successful if there was more businesses built upon love and helping others, but that is just what I am suggesting.
For those of you that greatly disagree, I say, look around. Does it seem like America is a happy place to live these days? We are in need of a massive shift in consciousness. Tragedies, atrocities, such as the Boston bombing incident at the marathon this year, the shooting at Sandy Hook late last year, the bombing of the twin towers on 9/11 are instances of where this independence has taken us. We have become a nation that became focused on the self, on getting ahead no matter what and of hoarding money in your bank accounts for some rainy day that may never come when we have people starving on the streets, people struggling all over. These people are our people whether they live here in the US or in another country. We are all connected, all living beings. And when we get that on a soul level, healing begins. Healing, happiness, getting ahead, can not be attained just for the sake of one because that means you are leaving others behind to struggle and suffer. Ultimately, whether this sounds hippy or social workey or not, true happiness and success comes to people who help others. Who open their hearts, even when they have nothing to give, and give anyways. This is beginning to happen. People are beginning to support local businesses more instead of giant corporations who take advantage. People are buying less food made from GMO and are buying more local organically grown produce. Little by little people are shifting their thinking about how to define their own success.
I became a social worker because I was raised in a family who needed help at times and who gave help to others all the time. I witnessed my parents helping others constantly. i took in the message of independence for a variety of reasons and it left me tired, sick and full of resentment. My recovery from being Type A is also about asking for help and being able to accept it when it comes. I am a helper learning to ask for the gifts I give. With every step I take, it becomes a little easier. Interdependence, the concept of I give to you and you give to me. We come together to form a relationship as two full human beings and are capable of being a full person as we leave the relationship is the model that feels most loving and healing for me. It’s so much more digestible than the extreme messages we have been sent of either you need to be on an island by yourself needing no one or you are not whole until you find that “soul mate.” No one completes me, I complete myself with the love and support of my people.
Just some more deep thoughts to ponder as we move forward to celebrate our country’s successes let’s also allow for the space to shift and grow into a space of being there for each other.